Tribute to my stepdad, Jacques...

Some of you know that in October my stepfather, Jacques was diagnosed with brain and lung cancer. He went through radiation and chemo and they appeared to be working. However his body got tired and God saw fit to bring him home on Sunday, March 2nd at the age of 60.
I'm proud of him for keeping his faith and cheerful attitude throughout his sickness. I am inspired my mother's undying love and dedication she gave him to the very end. As one pastor friend expressed it during the memorial: "Nancy you did that heroically and served him up until the very end. Thank you for your expression of biblical femininity and humility to care for your husband not only in life but in death."
To my kids, he was known as "Pepe'" the French word for grandfather. And they loved each other very much. The girls miss him.
The week he died, he told my mom that he thought that would be the week. Mom also felt he might be willing to "let go" of this life if he got to see a very special nephew one last time. This nephew just "happened" to be in FL from NH for work. He made it to Jacques' bedside only a few hours before he passed.
My big prayer was that my mom would not be alone when he passed away. It was better than anyone could have planned without the Divine hand. Favorite family and friends, as well as a favorite pastor (Todd) were gathered around his bed at home, singing worship songs and praying as he slipped into eternity with a tear trickling down his face. Jacques "went" after one particularly powerful verse of a praise song called Keep Me Near written by Steve Cook&Todd Twining (Todd is the one that led in the bedside song).

"Keep me near O precious Jesus
To the cross of Calvary
Coming to You through the river
Where Your blood has washed me clean."

Todd remembers that being the last of what they sang together as mom and his nephew each held a hand of Jacques' and with a tear he took his final breath.
The memorial was a hope-filled memorial and celebration of his life. It was opened up with the soulful sound of Ron Starks (formally a member of The Platters and a brother in Christ that has encouraged mom and Jacques greatly since the cancer) singing accapella a mixed ballad of the likes of "Ancient of Days", "All is Well", "God is Here", "Amazing Grace" and "Glory, Glory Hallelujah."
My "little" (now 32 yr old!!) brother shared at Jacques hope-filled memorial last Saturday, March 8th (also, my brother's birthday). I will cut and paste some of his speech below.
Thank you for all of you who stood by us in thought and prayer through this time.

Here is some of my brother's speech:

"Saying that Jacques was unique is like saying Jacques was fond of classic cars. Both of those thoughts are HUGE understatements.

It would be impossible in the time we have this morning to do justice to the bigness of Jacques’ personality and his heart.

Jacques was Jacques, and that’s all you can say. We have found ourselves over the last few days saying “That’s something Jacques would have said” or “Can you imagine what Jacques would have done” in various situations. That thought, “what would Jacques have said” either elicits laughter, embarrassment, or a little bit of both, which was usually the case.

But if you knew Jacques for any length of time, you almost began to look forward to the things he would do or say in public because it kept life interesting at the least.

And the unique thing about Jacques is that even the people out there that didn’t know him seemed to respond well to whatever he did. He just had that way about him.

My mom said the other day when we were thinking about his obituary, “He never met a stranger.”

Now while that may have translated into some uncomfortable moments or VERY long conversations from time to time, most of us who knew him benefited greatly from this characteristic.

We have rarely met someone as generous and helpful as Jacques. To the point that he was almost too helpful sometimes, if you know what I mean. How many people here ever had Jacques come over to your house and start telling you what needed to be fixed? He did it every time he came to my house. BUT, the difference with Jacques is that he would actually fix it for you. And he would never make you feel like you owed him anything for it. He did it out of a generous heart.

As you know, Jacques could fix just about anything. And if he didn’t know how to do it, he would figure it out.

Jacques was not always exactly the way he was the day that he passed away. The person he was 20 years ago, is vastly different than the person that he came to be. I don’t think when I was 12 years old I would have imagined the type of grandpa that he came to be. When I see the way that he loved and played with my kids, it just blows me away. My kids absolutely adored their Papa Jacques. And I know many of the kids at church loved Papa Jacques just as much.

Jacques, over the last few years changed in many ways. He became more patient, more willing to listen, more sensitive, more caring, and most of all, more PEACEFUL. Not just more peaceful about his circumstances, but peaceful about who he was. For those of you who only knew Jacques in the past, it may sound interesting to hear these characteristics ascribed to him.

And I’m telling, these changes did not take place just because he was getting older. We have all seen examples of people whose weaknesses just get magnified as they get older because they figure they have earned that right.

Jacques changed from the inside. His heart and his mind were transformed over the years. And I think it's important that we acknowledge how that change happened.

2 Corinthians 5:17 in the Bible says “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

Jacques’ life is such a testimony to that verse. I think it could be said that several years ago when we really saw Jacques changing that a lot of the outward things we saw change were coming in his own power. He looked at the people around him at church and saw the life that they had and so mimicked their actions so he could become like them. But honestly that only frustrated Jacques some because while some of his actions were different, he was not experiencing the LIFE inside that he saw others had.

But it was a few years ago that Jacques began to understand 2 Corinthians 5:17. As he opened his heart and stopped trying on his own and began letting Jesus in, Jesus began to change him, rather than Jacques changing himself. See Jacques could fix a lot of things, but he couldn’t fix himself, and you and I cant fix ourselves either. So as Jacques began to let more of Christ into his life, he began to see how God could fix him and how he could become that new creation.

In the past Jacques got caught up in his past and felt like his background and past deeds were too much and he was not acceptable to God. In fact, that is true for all of us.
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

I am going to read you a quote, and I want you to think about who said it.
1 Timothy 1:13-14 Who said this?
“I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man but the grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly.”
A blasphemer, a persecutor (killed Christians), and a violent man. Would you believe the person who said that wrote most of the New Testament?

Paul also said
Vs 15-16 Christ Jesus came into the world to save SINNERS, of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on Him and receive eternal life.

Romans 5:20 Where sin increases, grace increases all the more.

I think a couple of years ago Jacques realized that Christ came to save Sinners, not those who believe themselves to be righteous. He came to understand that Jesus can forgive anyone regardless of their past and CHANGE them.

In his last few years, Jacques got to experience the joy of his life being transformed. Its like yearning for something you have hoped for all of your life, knowing you could never get there. But one day you have a dream, like you often do, that you get what you wanted, only this time you don’t have to wake up.

Jacques had that joy here on earth. He was still human. He still fell short and perhaps relapsed into his old ways from time to time. But on Sunday march 2nd, his transformation became complete when Jacques went to be with Jesus. Now that taste of transformation that he had here is a total reality.

Jacques had complete peace about dying. That was evident his last few months. He had peace because of what the Word of God says.

John 3:15-18 and vs 36. "15 that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life. 16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son." 36 Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God's wrath remains on him."

None of us can earn that salvation or be good enough for that salvation. Ephesians 2:8-9 For it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith, and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast.”

The disciple Peter said in Acts 4:12 Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved than the name of Jesus.

So I ask you today, as I know Jacques would want to ask you from where he is, “Do you want to be transformed? Do you want to be forgiven? Do want to have a peace about dying when your time comes?”

Some may think it is unfair for me to ask you these questions at such a time. But it is times like these that our hearts are softened; that we are more sensitive than normal; that we are confronted with some of life’s biggest questions. These are precious times. We should embrace moments like these and allow God to shape and mold us. Don’t let the moment pass if your heart is yearning for more.

Transformation, forgiveness, and peace all start when we allow Christ in, as Jacques did. If you have never allowed Christ in and want to now, I invite you to pray with me. Lets pray:

Please talk to me or a pastor afterwards if you prayed that for the first time or for any reason are struggling with this moment and want someone to talk to.

I want to end by saying that today is a day of celebration. While we mourn the loss of a husband, a parent, and a friend, we can take joy in having 100% confidence that Jacques has been healed and is living eternally with Jesus. Heaven is not a place we go and float around on clouds playing harps. It is a real place where we will experience joy and life like we have never known.

Jacques was proud of all of you. He was so proud of his wife, his kids, his grandkids, his friends, and his church. I want to thank the church for the way you have cared for Jacques and my mom and the way I know you will continue to care for my mom.

And last, I want to honor my mother. I really believe it was her love, patience, faith, and diligence in prayer that gave Jacques an environment in which the Lord could work. Can we take a moment to honor my mom?
[Everyone loudly applauded my mom here]"

After my brother finished, the floor was then opened up to whomever wanted to share a Jacques memory. It was both funny and inspiring.

Jacques will be fondly remembered.